Surgery is over. Next steps are to wait for my February cycle and call on day one and map out our cycle. As I lay awake in bed, now sitting up writing this blog post, I am reflecting on that we are about to start our 6th Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle (FET).
- We had two canceled cycles in 2015
- One unsuccessful cycle in May 2015
- One cycle cycle in August 2015 that led to our twin pregnancy and Caleb & Isaac
I often reflect on the courage it took for our placing family to donate these 6 embryos. The faith, the courage, the love. They loved these little ones so much that they were willing to give them up. To allow us to love them, to raise them, we are forever grateful. I am not sure words can adequately express our gratitude. To our Michigan Fan Club, we are forever grateful!
If you know Ricky, you know he would be perfectly happy with two kids. I have felt strong conviction for some time now that God entrusted us with 6 embryos and He wants us to trust Him with our family size and use all 6 embryos. Ricky and I had many conversations, often on date nights at one of our favorite restaturants about next steps. I just continued to pray for wisdom and direction. If God had a different plan for our family I wanted Him to change my heart. Well, he changed Ricky's instead. Last week during the grief of loosing my grandma and plannig for this surgery and the loss of unmet expectations he shared we me how proud he was of me. He shared with tears in both our eyes that he is impressed with my strength to fight for this last baby. To perserve despite personal inconvience and sacrifice. It was so good to hear that from my him. Ricky has been incredible throughout this journey. It is not lost on me that he agreed to endure hardship with me from day 1! He knew having a family with me would look different, even be difficult and he choose to love me anyway. We will celebrate 6 years of marriage in May and I am so grateful for our life together. I love him more now than when we got married. We have had times when we have had to work through the hard parts of marriage and honor our commitment to one another, our vows that we made to one antoher and to God.
In March, Caleb and Isaac will be two. This morning before we needed to leave for the hospital Issac was up early, before 6 AM and I was able to have time with just him. It was such a blessing to hold him in my arms, play with his "choo-choo-trains" and read books. Remember what it was like 3 years ago, while we were walking down a very similar path after our first canceled transfer, but then we still did not have children. Now our home is filled, everyday with the joy of children. New words, their spirit of heling, discovering new joys, like truly experiencing snow! Regardless of the often we are blessed. We are blessed by the love and courage of our placing family and blessed by Caleb Isaac. We are blessed by the outpouring and love and support for us. We were going to walk throug this journey more privately this time. I was quickly reminded after our first set-back in December 2017 that we needed community. Through unexpected flowers the day of surgery. Through cookies and ice cream left on our porch the day of a canceled transfer, emails and texts of prayer and encouragement we are grateful. We are grateful for your love, prayers and support. More updates to come with the details and timeline for FET cycle #6.