Sunday was the first day of my cycle. I called Monday morning and within hours I received a call with a surgery date and time. Monday I was ovecome with grief. Grieveing the loss of our January 9th transfer but also the loss of my grandma. Sunday was the visitation for my grandma and Monday was her funeral. My grandma Terselic was my last living grandparent. I lost my other grandparents very young. She is really the only grandmaotehr I even knew. Sunday morning at Church we sang Bethel music's You Make Me Brave. This song seems to pretty accurately reflect where I am emotionally and in my walk with the Lord. If it was up to me I wuold stop and say this is too hard.
As I sing the song in church and listen to it as I write this post, these lyrics play over and over again in my mind:
As Your love, in wave after wave Crashes over me, crashes over me For You are for us You are not against us Champion of Heaven You made a way for all to enter in
You make me brave You make me brave You call me out beyond the shore into the waves You make me brave You make me brave No fear can hinder now that love has made a way
See the full lyrics.
I feel, maybe more than Ricky, called out beyond the shore into the waves. Waves are strong, powerful and often, if not always unpredictable. But I also believe that God is for us, not against us.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday the 22nd at 10:30 AM. We invite you to pray for wisdom for Dr. Shanit as she operates on me. Wisdom as we move forward in this process. This is uncharted terriority for us. I am reminded that life is full of challenges. One of my dearest friends is walking thorugh a very difficult time after their son was injured in an accident. Pray for his healing. My family is walking through the loss of a grandparent and parent (for my mom and her siblings). We all have our own struggles that we are facing. Part of what this journey has taught Ricky and I is to be bold in sharing our story. To be the ones who go first and share our pain and struggles. If you are walking through a difficult season would you share it with us? We would love to be praying for you.