This morning we had our follow-up ultrasound. The fluid is still there so our planned transfer is canceled. It is very bitterswet. Ricky and I want to do want is best for this baby. We really believe it is a baby that needs to be given the best chance at life. Transfering this precious little one in an environment that is not ideal does not feel what God has for us. Understanding God's timing is very difficult sometimes. Why are there ongoing challenges? Ricky was there for the appointment which is such a blessing to me. I was so grateful for his support while we got this disappointing news. When we went through this process with Caleb & Isaac our physician had a partner. Her partner left several months ago for a differnt opportunity and she is alone right now at our clinic. One big difference from 2 years ago to now is that a nurse does all my ultrasounds. This morning was no different. A nurse did my ultrasound. But, our doctor was in the office and talked to Ricky and I about next steps! I am so grateful that she were there to talk us through the process and explain what the fluid may be from. When I had my surgery in early December 2017 she found a lot of scar tissue. She was able to cut a large band of scar tissue at the back of my uterus that was running from the top to the bottom like a large rubberband. We were all optimistic that this would be all that was needed. It is possible that that same band of scar tissue has re-formed and is now trapping fluid.
Next steps is to take medication to help me get my cycle and then schedule another surgery right away. If the scar tissue has re-formed she will remove it again but this time place a baloon to try to prevent it from re-forming as well as treat it with high dose estrogen.
I feel a lot of peace about the plan. There is disappointment but I have this overwhelming sense that God's timinig is and always will be perfect. I have been remained over the past week that obedience is not necessarily easy. We feel God's call on our life to use this last embryo regardless of the outcome. I have also been reminded this week of the negative consequences of disobedience (Jonah comes to mind right away). We want to walk in obedience and trust in God's best for us. He loves us after all! So much so that he sent Jesus to die for us. What an incrediable gift. We are so grateful for all your love and support.