You may be waiting on baited breath for our update. It is hard to write this since we did not get good news. I wanted to be able to have a great title for tonight like, "full steam ahead", or "we got a green light", but we certainly got a yellow light at a minimium. In some ways today was one of the more difficult days in our journey that started in January 2014, just over 4 years ago.
Today during our final ultrasound prior to our scheduled transfer for 4/18/18 the fluid was still there and larger than last week. My lining also looked worse than a week ago (thinner). In God's perfect provision for us Dr. Shanti was the one who performed the ultrasound. She finished the ultraound and sat and talked to us about next steps for what felt like a long time. I am not actually sure how long it was, but she was extremely empathetic and did seem rushed. She took her time and answered all our questions, or at least the ones we thought to ask in the moment. She feels that the fluid is coming from where she removed the large adhesion (scar tissue) from my uterus in December 2017. That scar tissue was in the fundus, or the largest part of my uterus, where you would transfer the embryo to attempt pregnancy. Today there was two areas of fluid at either end of where the scar tissue used to be. She explained that most likely when they are giving me the high dose estrogen to prepare my body for a transfer that where the adhesion used to be is not fully healed and is responding by leaking fluid instead of the endometrium getting thicker (what needs to happen). She shared with us today that she does not have any new interventions to add and we could continue to try additional cycles but that she does not know if we would have a different outcome.
God used Dr. Shanti when we were feelingso discouraged after our unsuccessful transfer in June 2016 to encourage us to conitnue to try. At the time, it was clear to us the God was leaving the door open to continuing to attempt to achieve pregnany via embryo adoption. That very next cycle resulted in our pregnancy with Caleb and Issac. Our prayer now is the same as it was in June 2016, that God would clearly open and close doors and direct us. Please join us in praying for wisdom.
As part of the next steps we are going to reach out to Nightlight what the options for our remaining embryo are if attempting pregnancy is a closed door. You may have unanswered questions, so do we. I am confident that we have walked in obedience and that throughout the last 4 years God has strengthened our faith and given us opportunities to point others to Jesus. We feel beyond gateful for this.
Today's conservation is one we did not see coming but has affirmed in us that Caleb and Issac are truly "Miracle Minions". We are taking some time to make to pray and seek wise counsel. Is our embryo adoption journey coming to an end? That is one of the many unanswered questions that remains. One of my sisters and I talked briefly on the phone today after the ultrasoud. She shared with me that if we honor the life God has entrusted us with we cannot make a wrong decision. Erica, thank you for your wisdom and encouragement to me.